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"Yes you are helping...i am trying now to get my mind out of thinking negative things about him and situations. Trying to think about the present and not the past...it is hard cause so much has happened. When my mind goes back i just sing. hehehe I…"
"Hi...i know it may be hard now that he got some visitation....just make a record of everything. I know it may seem a lot that he has her for that time....but i think you should look at it as giving him a chance to show he can screw up. He will and…"
"Thanks again. I know I am a strong person and I am here for these kids. he thinks i would crumble and fall....but i am far from it. He think becasue i have no family here i have no support....but the support i have gotten from people have been…"
"Thanks....it has been a rough road and it still continues.....it does seem endless but i jkeep telling myself it will come to an end. This custody battle will end. It is just not that but i am also deeply worried about my kids and the situation he…"
"Hi....thanks for the advice. It truly has been a rough time and to top it all of this woman decided to contact me on facebook and leaves this long message. i told her what the father and I do concerning these kids is none of her business and she…"
Comments
YESS. You are strong!! and yes we do fall down sometimes and need to feel ppl love us and care enough to offer us a hand up! I am loving that we have something like this in common. I hope I have help you in ur journey through this!! I know the pain it caused me, but it helped me grow as well.!!
fyi my ex is a cop and his new wife that he had an affair with is also a cop.. so needles to say they had judges in their pocket . the whole situation was rigged.
Its true.. no matter all the horrible things happening in this world.. we must find our inner peace b4 we can do any good. we must find balance. I am in no way a professional but i do have life experience. it was killing me literally that my husband was whoring around in front of my daughter. and i was focusing too much on him and his problems. meanwhile i was falling apart and getting sick and being less of a mom for her. so she is down 2 parents... my advice.. which was hard for me to take when it was given to me., is focus on what u can change
ignore what u cant. focus on being a good mom for the kids. they will grow up and see the truth. be their rock. get healthy. one strong stable parent is better than none. i focused on all the bad things for years. I even crumbled in court bc i was weak and I never forgave myself for that and its not something i talk about bc its so painful. I hope what i am saying is making sense i am not much of a typer as u can see by my lack of effort in the spelling and capitals etc. from what I have read its a typical indigo trait lol
I went through this exact situation in 2009. I was stuck in negativity. This was b4 I knew anything about loa. Everything I imagined and feared to go wrong DID. I fell apart literally and wasted 5 years of my life hiding from teh world. I eventually enrolled unwillingly to a class that gives life lessons. It was here that I learned that I cannot change some ppl. I can only change how i see things.I had to focus on good even if there was very little.. I had to find it and focus. It worked. Slowly but steady I got healthy again. I still try to practice this
I can relate. My ex is something else. Each day presents a new shock and challenge as well. He has gone to friends and family and lied about turning some of them against me. He cheated on me. He rigged my garage door so it wouldn't lock, he broke into my house and took some things through the basement window, he planted drugs in my car, The woman he cheated on me with lost her pharmaceutical license to drugs this July (problems since 2007), she has 3 dwi's, assult, credit card fraud. He moved in with her in August knowing that there was a court order for him not to bring my son around her. He is in contempt of court. He lied on the stand about bringing my son around her...among other things. His girlfriend had one of her friends lie under oath to protect him. I have video proof that they were all together in his home....I may or may not be able to use it because of the credibility of the person that obtained it. That's a story in of itself. I thought the biggest challenge was going to be to get him out of my house. He always told me he would not leave. As it turns out...that is when the nightmare began.
Here is what I learned. Document everything! Get as much proof and documentation as you can. If your kids are telling you stories like this bring them in to a counselor. In court your counselor could end up being your biggest asset in your fight against him.
If your ex's girlfriend contacts you again you contact the police and file a protection order against her. Print out all of her e-mails to you. It will show her harassment and that she continues with it even after you have asked her repeatedly to stop.
Hire a good attorney. There is flat rate attorneys that will take a case and charge one fee for the entire thing vs per hour. I made the mistake of hiring an hourly attorney and it cost me 1500.00 for nothing. I then found a flat rate attorney that took my case for $2500.00 and she has been beyond amazing. Fight for your kids. Fight with everything you have and keep asking for strength. There has been days I didn't know how I would make it through the day. If you have a day like that I will give you my phone number ...you give me a call.
This guy is not worth fighting for. Cut him lose. He is not worth your energy or time. You may not realize it yet because you are in turmoil but this is the best thing that could have happened to you. He is doing you a favor. You will have a chance at an amazing life after all the dust settles. You would have never had that with him. You can't change another person...you can only change you. If you really sit and think about it be honest with yourself. Was your life with him great? Did he treat you with love and respect? Was he the person YOU wanted? My guess based off what you have told me is NO. Somehow in our heads women get the fantasy of what they want mixed up with the reality of what is. We think we can change the man into the fantasy. It just doesn't work. Instead of beating your head against the wall just stop. Stop. You don't need to participate. Let it go. Then after you heal and you figure out why you were attracted to someone like him to begin with....then you can simply find and attract to you ....the kind of man you really want instead of the man you don't. First though....focus on the kids.
Just because he is doing crap doesn't mean you need to put up with it. You are nobody's doormat. Take a stand...and then stand strong and fight. It won't be easy but you can do it. When you come out on the other side it will be worth it.
Start asking your Archangel Micheal to help you...and start asking your spirit guides for guidance.